You are entering the adoption
discussion from your own particular situation and each circumstance is unique.
However, it is still possible to talk a bit about the types of situations that
may lead people to adoption.
Is this you? If so, you are coming
from a sad and perhaps ambivalent place. The diagnosis of infertility can feel
like the theft of such a basic function that it can seem like a complete betrayal.
If you are a couple, you have had to work through the possible feelings of
failure or blame that can either make you and your partner stronger or create
some deep scars.
Infertility treatment also wreaks
havoc on your body and in your daily life. As you well know, you often live by
a schedule that starts with the date of your period then maps out a complex set
of logistics related to injections, ultrasounds, blood tests and possibly
surgical procedures. When Sue was undergoing treatment, she held a job where
she traveled a lot and the travel schedule had to be planned around her
treatments. She often wondered what a passerby might think if he heard the
sales manager poke his head into her office and ask, “Did you get your period
yet?”
If you’re female, you endure
injections, procedures, bloating, pain and sickness. If you’re male, you may be
pressed into service giving injections or you may feel guilty or helpless
because you simply can’t do that to your partner.
However, all that would be okay if
only it worked. For most people undergoing unsuccessful infertility treatments,
they suffer a deep loss with every failed round of treatment.
And, of course, sometimes you’re
angry as you look at teenagers popping out unplanned babies and friends who get
pregnant “every time he puts his shoes under the bed”. You want what seems to
come as naturally as breathing to everyone else.
