Adoption day is
life-changing, we all know that. Plus, you have some control over how it
happens so, how do you want to do it?
First and foremost,
think about the child you are adopting and what will work for him or her. If
you are adopting a newborn or a child under eighteen months, you can generally
count on them to be fairly adaptable to whatever decisions you make.
Internationally adopted babies are already experiencing a whirlwind of changes
and usually thrive on it. (These babies are often somewhat “shut down”
emotionally from the orphanage experience and the attention, change of
environment and movement “wakes them up” and they begin the process of emerging
from any initial developmental delays almost immediately.)
If your child is
older, they may need some time at each step of their homecoming to take it all
in. It’s a good idea to talk with your
adopted older child about their adoption day and see how he or she envisions
coming into your family.
If you have other
children already, you need to remember that they can easily feel left out or
pushed aside by the attention that your new family member is receiving. Be sure
that your adoption day and the days following include special time or attention
to siblings.
Also, siblings may
have to come to grips very quickly with fantasy versus reality in their newly
expanded family. An older child who envisioned being a loving helper and “the
boss” may be very unhappy to learn that his new sibling isn’t about to be
bossed around by anyone. You will need to spend time with your other children
to help them transition from the family they fantasized about to the very real,
wonderful, but probably slightly different family they now have.
