The internet has become an
excellent way to match prospective adoptive parents and birth parents. Try http://www.parentprofiles.com/. At
this site, prospective adoptive parents create web pages describing themselves,
their home life, etc. They can add
photos and maintain a journal as well.
Most adoptive parents create a
portfolio about themselves as a way of introducing themselves to prospective
parents. Your portfolio should be warm and inviting so that a birth mother can
look at you, your home and family and feel good about placing her child in your
hands. Your agency or adoption professional will guide you about the kinds of material
to place in your portfolio.
Depending on whether you have
chosen open or closed adoption, you will either meet or not meet the birth
mother. (Remember to inquire about the birth father to be sure your agency or
adoption professional has the appropriate clearances from him.)
In an open adoption, you will be in
communication with the birth mother throughout the pregnancy. As we discussed
in Chapter Three, there are many degrees of open adoption. Here is a quick
review.
Least open—The birth mother will read about several possible adoptive
families and pick the one that sounds best for her baby. You will not know each
other's names.
More open—You
and the birth mother will speak on the telephone and exchange first names.
Even more open—You can meet the birth mother. Your social worker or
attorney will arrange the meeting at the adoption agency or attorney's office.
Most open—You and the birth
mother share your full names, addresses, and telephone numbers. You stay in
contact with her over the years, by visiting, calling, or writing each other.
Fifteen States have enacted laws that recognize post-adoption contact between
adoptive and birth families if the parties have voluntarily agreed to this
plan.
